Any day Baby L.

Faces and Phrases

There comes a time when what is needed is not just rhetoric, but boots on the ground.

Baldwin Spencer

No matter what...Hang on Tight!

-"Titanic"

Only undertake what you can do in an excellent fashion. There are no prizes for average performance.- Brian Tracy

If you can dream it, you can do it.- Walt Disney

Lisa never thought she would be pregnant with her first, but here she is pregnant with her second miracle baby!

Rodney must have dreamed of meeting MM, cuz he struck the perfect pose!!

Many people will walk in
and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.

- Eleanor Roosevelt -

At a snail's pace

That's about how fast we are moving with getting a definite diagnosis of secondary hypogonadism. Several days after meeting with the endocrinologist, DH asked if I thought my GP would listen to my theory and agree to treat him based on that diagnosis. Based on my 5 year history with Dr. M, I told DH that it was worth a shot. I knew that if I went in there with my research, diagnosis, and plan Dr. M would hear me out. If he didn't I knew I could always cry. It's worked before, and I'm willing to show my true emotions with him instead of stuffing and getting pissed! DH agreed to give it another shot, so before he could have a change of heart I called and set up the appointment for the next day.

After the usual 40 minute waiting room delay, we were ushered to the back where DH was weighed, vital'd, and questioned by the nurse. He sat wordless as I explained the dilema. After she left, I asked if I should "shut my trap". His shrug was what I've come to expect from low T DH...disappointing. The old DH would crack a joke or at least tell me that I'm some form of crazy. I sure do miss that man! Anyway, Dr. M came in asking about the labs we had brought from his old doc, Dr. DeG, showing how rapidly and drastically DH's T is dropping. I spread out my research showing him how all of the hormones are related, what the optimal levels are for DH's age and build, and what the AACE guidlines recommend. He admitted that he doesn't know enough about endocrinology to treat such an issue and suggested we go visit one...LOL!!! After telling him the very short story of our last visit ("The guy was an ass, and we won't go back!") he agreed to order an MRI for the pituitary. He also thought we might have better luck going back to the RE we saw several years ago.

The best nurses that I've dealt with work at PREG! Dr. N and Dr. P were so very lucky and very smart to hire these girls. This is the RE's office. The nurse that answered the phone immediatly recognized my desperation, and answered as many questions as she could over the phone. She took the time to speak with Dr. P after pulling our records from the 2008 files! The consensus was that we should complete the MRI to rule out a tumor, then we can make an appointment to speak with either one of the docs. We will be treated as if we are trying to conceive which will include an updated SA to determine if the low T is affecting DH's counts. The nurse explained that they will send those results to the only urologist in our area that treats men with infertility problems, Dr. H. She also affirmed that they have treated men with this problem before, and that they have done so using low dose Clomid. She wasn't sure if they have ever used HCG, but she giggled when I sighed loudly and said "It's about time someone knows what they are doing!"

That was last week, and this week has been just as interesting! It started off with the MRI appt at 7:15 am Monday morning. OMG...that's just insane! Somehow we made it on time, and I didn't even have to sing. Unfortunately the MRI tech doesnt' know what to do with an order that says, "MRI with sedation", so less than 15 minutes after he went back DH rushes out, grabs his stuff, and says, "Let's get out of here!" Turns out the tech didn't give him any sedation, and he flipped out after just the first 2 minutes. There was no way I'd be able to drag him back in there, so we headed over to Dr. M's office to let them know what happened. The nurse says she will let the doc know, and will make calls to the "open MRI" locations to find out if the test can be completed at one of their offices.

Now that it's 9am, and a few offices are open, I place a call to Dr. H. The receptionist reluctantly answers a few of my questions. "Yes, he will treat men with low T that want to maintain their fertilty withOUT using T shots." "No, I can't tell you what that treatment will be because it's based on the individual." "Yes, he will treat based on symptoms, and not strictly the labs." "Yes, I can make him an appointment." "No, he can't be seen before March 9th. Dr. H won't let us overbook. He prefers to have an open schedule so that he can spend enough time with each patient." "Yes, I will put you on a cancellation list, and call you if ANYTHING comes open!"

Did you catch all of those doctor's? We've used Dr. DeG...DH's first GP whom wanted to treat him with T shots, and doesn't know that they will cause infertilty and raisins. Dr. W...the endocrinologist. Enough said there! Dr. M...my GP for the past 5 + years, and now DH's. Dr's P and N...RE's from PREG whom have the best nurses on the planet. Dr. H...urologist with an infertilty specialty. I've got my fingers crossed that he also has all the answers! Whew. My phone's contact list is full, and I'm exhausted!

Who, where, what, why, and some how

First, the basics:

34 years old

Female

Living in Greenville, South Carolina

Married since 10/28/00

Nurse since 5/04-I worked one year at a local hospital on their telemetry unit and hated the day shift nurses, so I found a job working with special needs children and their families. It is the perfect job for me!

Oldest of 6 children with ages spread between 34 and 12, only 1 boy out of the bunch. All of us came from the same mom and dad, and no we aren’t catholic, and yes they knew what caused it, lol. I live 600 miles away from them, and miss them all fiercely.

I have dealt with infertility for 5 years and 4 months now. I have an irritable uterus, and they don’t know why I don’t ovulate regularly. I also have a fairly rare double genetic mutation that does not allow my body to process folic acid correctly. One important thing that folic acid does is to keep the blood from creating clots.

I have lost 3 babies to the above mentioned gene mutation between April ‘06 and now. The most recent was on 6/25/09. This was the first baby to make it past 6 1/2 weeks gestation. I had heard the heartbeat 3 times, and was told that everything was going well on my new treatment plan. Unfortunately, the doctors didn’t begin this plan until the end of week 6, and by that time the gestational sac’s blood supply had already clotted. So, even though the baby was able to recieve good blood thanks to blood thinner shots, the sac stopped growing and suffocated my child at 8 weeks and 2 days.

Back to more fun stuff…

I take karate 2 evenings per week. It is American style with a little of this, a little of that all mixed together. I am finishing my green belt, and am ready to get down and dirty with the late evening grappling class.

I just joined a gym with my husband. It’s very nice with upscale equipment, a quiet atmosphere, a tanning bed, a hydrotherapy massage bed, private saunas, and the most beautiful private bathrooms! A gym is where DH and I first started to really get to know each other, so I figured it would be a great place to reconnect after the crazyness of the past several years.

I’m training to run 3 miles as part of my black belt test.

I’m a very amatuer photographer.

I’m a (slightly better than) amatuer cake decorator.

Lord, Sinner here...

Lord,
It is I, Sinner.
Many of my friends are hurting tonight.
I am but a man, but you are God.
Among our differences is the fact that you have said over and over again that it is
your delight when we come to you.
And among our differences is that an old stiff necked, stubborn self-centered fool
like me can throw himself at your feet and not be crushed,
as I would crush if I were you.

So I am there Lord.
Forgive me my sins so I may ask of you…
Many of my friends are hurting tonight.
The Spirit tugs me to ask.
The Spirit puts tears in my eyes.
Wave your hand over us Lord,
so that for a moment we can all have peace.
Do not fix our problems – that is not what I ask.
Do not make us better – that is not what I ask.
I ask…. Just touch us.
Pass your hand over us so that we can be reminded you are there.
For just a moment take the hurt from all of us, if it is your will.
It is but a flick of your finger.
Just a nod of your head.
You are God.
Because my friends hurt tonight.

Amen,
Sinner


*Written and prayed by “Shipguy”
He can be found on www.themarraigebed.com forums

Adios

It's time for this blog to close! Not only do I not keep up with it, the things I do post are read by people that don't have a reason to stick their big noses into my business! So, if/when I do start another, the people that matter will be invited to visit me!

Star Wars Sunday

It all started with a mouse...

and a fastpass...

and a strong showing of control....

and patrol....

then we had sun and waiting....and more waiting...

then we went to TGIFriday's for lunch and came back for more waiting.

All for this man to show the thumb's up sign.

And some pearly whites...whose are prettier?

Then we saw some crazy people walking around like it wasn't 90+ today!

Hey guess what!!!!

I'm leaving for Disney in less than 6 hours to spoil OB at Star Wars Weekends!

My cycle has been coming earlier and earlier, so I was expecting for her to show up in the middle of last week, but it didn't happen. Then I packed to stay at the Karate house over the weekend and took plenty of supplies, and again...nothing! Same on Monday and I started wondering, then Tuesday nothing so I decided to test Wed morning. I took the test and laid it down to develop while I started to get ready. Looked over at it real quick as I was getting ready to throw it away, but wait!!! There is 2 lines OMG *faint* So I hurry to get ready, call Candice to let her know I'm going to be late, send a text to Lisa "It is positive!", and head to the doc's office for a blood test.

I threw the whole office off-kilter because I didn't call first, my ob is off, and the nurse (that i've become close to over the past 4 1/2 years) is in total shock, and has to search down my gyn to write the orders for a beta and progesterone. She said what I've been thinking "How did this happen? You weren't taking anything were you? How is your husband going to take it?" My answers..."No idea except GOD! No! and Probably not so great."

Wednesday night I came home and made dinner for my OB and after he got out of his uniform and got his drink and plate ready I broke the news:
Remember that your mom taught you not to say anything if you don't have something nice to say.
Funny look.
We're pregnant!
How did that happen?
God!
But we only dtd once!
I know!
A little bit of thinking...
Well, don't go telling everyone or posting it anywhere.
Why?
Because we don't know if it's going to stick!
Well, it's there now, and i'm excited, so too little too late!
A lot more thinking...
That's good I guess.
Remember you aren't saying anything about it until it's nice!
Goodnight, I love you.

Thursday I got my numbers! My first beta at 4w5d is 432 *praise
Today my numbers...beta at 5w is 896 *praise*praise

Tonight we had 5 arby's roast beef sandwiches, 2 each. When he got the last one he asked if I needed it or at least 1/2 of it. I asked why I would need that many. He said "Cuz you have to feed two!" *giggle

We are leaving early in the morning for our Disney trip for Star Wars Weekends. And when we get back I'm headed to a maternal fetal medicine specialist to determine if I need Lovenox shots in addition to baby aspirin, 4.4mg Folic Acid/vit b, and my prenatal vitamin. That appt is Wed 6/4 at 3pm. I'll have my first ob appt and u/s on 6/9 at 2:40pm.

And that's the news. When I get back I promise to keep you all up to date with the pregnancy, and back track to get you through the last 6 months. I might also have a few pics to show off from my Nikon with my new 18-250 lens *wink

A lot of catching up to do

But not today!

Today I am worried about what is going on in DC. I believe a big giant Jesus stick needs to come down and crash their party! Have you heard about Bill s.909? “The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.” Sounds like something that would keep O.B. from racial profiling doesn't it? That's not it at all!!! Read the following blog post from Morgan Writes:

U.S. Senate Bill S.909
May 9, 2009 by morganwrites
There is a bill on the fast track in the U.S. Senate (S. 909) that would not
only criminalize free speech but provide elevated protection to
pedophiles.
The bill is euphemistically called “The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.”It should rightfully be called “The Pedophile Protection Act.”
It was exposed as such when an amendment to exclude pedophiles from special legal protections, offered by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, was rejected by the Democrats in the House Judiciary Committee. Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Florida, admitted from the House Floor that this bill put 547 forms of sexual deviancies listed by the American Psychiatric Association, which he referred to as “all of these ‘philias’ and fetishes and ‘isms’” on the same level of elevated protection as “race … religion … gender … or
disability.”
Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, a former appellate judge on the House committee, clarified further: “…We just rejected an amendment to including pedophilia from being a part of this protected class. Do you realize what that means?
“If a mother hears that their child has been raped and she slaps the assailant with her purse, she is now gone after as a hate criminal because this is a protected class. There are other protected classes in here. I mean simple exhibitionism. I have female friends who have told me over the years that some guy flashed them, and their immediate reaction was to hit them with their purse. Well now, he’s committed a misdemeanor, [and] she has committed a federal hate crime because the exhibitionism is protected under sexual orientation.”If there was ever a time for the Senate to stand and fight with a filibuster, that time is now. Especially since the Democrat majority does not yet have the contested seat filled with Al Franken, which would provide the votes to block a filibuster. Janet Porter of Faith2Action is calling for members of the Senate, Republicans and Democrats alike, to stop S. 909.
This bill in on the fast track to approval. But you can stop it.
Click on this link.

Insurance bites!

My insurance is being a pain in the butt! They aren't reimbursing me for $180 worth of progesterone suppositories that kept my little baby alive for 6 weeks, but they supposedly cover prenatal care 100%!?!?

They also told me today that they won't cover my prescription strength Folic Acid4mg/Vitamin B6B12. They say that since it is available over the counter at 400mcg I could just take 10 of those every day for the rest of my life! But, I also need to have massive doses of Vitamins B6 and B12. So... on top of the 10 folic acid pills, I will be taking another 10-15 vitamin B pills for the rest of my life! The very helpful HR lady said that they might cover it if my doctor will write out a letter of justification, "a strong one" she said. I really hope that works because the prescription would be at most $20/month, while the OTC price would be closer to $50/month. And taking 20-30 pills most of the month and also 2 shots/day for an entire pregnancy just plain out sucks!

Even though my probs suck a little, there are other people out there that are also having sucky times. Please check out KayTar's blog and Jennelle's Journey and continue to pray for the healing of Ben.

Some recent crafts

Turkey bread basket. Feathers, wings, and head/neck all colored by the almost 2 year old pictured above. Assembled by myself. Stuffed (tomorrow) by 2 year old's dad! Stuffing enjoyed by all!!!!!

Last week we made a cake for Rodney's 9th birthday. The little kids helped by adding ingredients to the bowl and hanging on my leg while it mixed together. The big kid, Candice, has perfected the art of squeezing stars...cramped hand and all ;^) I figured out that you really need to let red icing "rest" overnight to make it REALLY red. Shucks! Too bad I didn't think of that, um, the day before! As you can see, not so red Elmo was still enjoyed.

Happy Birthday Hot Rod!!!!!

It's MTHFR and I'm so happy!!!

Did I get your attention? I'm praising the Lord that i'm broken! And we know what is broken and we have a bandaid for it.

I'm sorry for the excitement but it's really great to finally have an answer after 4 years and 2 angels.

I have the MTHFR mutation. It's on the c677t gene, and I have 2 of them...one from each parent. It's actually the worst type of MTHFR to have, but now that I know about it we can hopefully do something to prevent another miscarriage and to prevent further complications from this gene.

This gene makes it so that I don't process folic acid correctly or completely. It leads to clotting disorders in the smallest veins and arteries (like the ones found in the uterus and placenta) and future vascular disorders like stroke, dvt's, heart attacks, and alzheimers.

Step 1: Take 4mg of Folic acid...forever, every day!
Step 2: Testing for homocysteine levels...it was sent off today.
Step 3: If those tests are abnormal, I will have to take baby aspirin everyday.
Step 4: If those tests are abnormal, I may have to take a blood thinner shot during ttc attempts.

The other reason to praise? Because now that I know I have it, we can also have my sisters tested before they ttc, before they have to suffer a miscarriage and the heart aches that they bring. I'm actually sending my paperwork to my mom so that she can try to get insurance to cover immediate testing for them. Having this gene leads to other health problems that can be avoided by taking the prescription strengths of folic acid! So, hopefully the test will be covered for the other 3 girls, and they can take the vitamin if necessary.

A MOTHERS LOVE

I didn't have to look into your eyes

to fall in love with you,

I didn't have to hear you cry

to know you loved me too,

I didn't need to hold your hand

to cherish you always,

Within my womb

we shared our hearts.

You touched my soul,

You sweetened my spirit,

You gave me memories

I will always hold so very dear.

Yes my heart aches

since you departed so soon,

But a mothers love

does not end with death,

For you are my child,

My love is forever yours.

TOO SOON

This was a life,

That had hardly begun,

No time to find,

Your place in the sun,

No time to do,

All you could have done,

But we loved you enough for a lifetime.

No time to enjoy,

The world and its wealth,

No time to take life,

Down off the shelf,

No time to sing,

The song of yourself,

Though you had enough love for a lifetime.

Those who live long,

Endure sadness and tears,

But you'll never suffer,

The sorrowing years,

No betrayal,

no anger,

No hatred,

no fears,

Just love,

Only love,

In your lifetime.

So, I left you hanging on the edge of your seats on a roller coaster ride like no other. It had plenty of ups and downs before a dramatic ending...

Tuesday 10/14 (5 weeks) - We are in Ohio visiting family and my dying grandfather. I feel some cramps and head to the bathroom and find I'm having some red bleeding, just about 2 wipes worth. I make the decision to call the after hours nurse whom informs me that if I bleed heavily to go straight to the ER, if it stops, to call their office as soon as we return to town on Thursday.

Wednesday 10/15 - We drive safely home and take a break to call my personal nurse who gets us in for an ultrasound (forever more u/s) and visit with the doc at 10am on Thursday.

Thursday 10/16 - I meet with the doctor who does a quick check and notices something bad. He asks me to get dressed and move to another room with a better u/s machine. I get ready, and the u/s tech begins. She does not see anything in the uterus, but sees a large fluid filled cyst in the right tube, a luteul cyst on both right and left ovaries. (Luteul cysts are when an egg pops out at ovulation and becomes fertilized by the sperm, the cyst produces progesterone to support growth and implantation until the placenta takes over in the beginning of the second trimester.) It looks like we had twins!!!!! The bleeding at 5 weeks was the loss of the first twin, and the fluid filled cyst looks like a blighted ovum (second twin) in the right tube. This isn't any good news. The doc puts me on pelvic rest, light duty, and to be aware of sharp pains and bleeding. My bloodwork is still rising 5,900!

Monday 10/20 (5 weeks, 6 days) - O.B. attends this appt to show his support. We start off with the good u/s equipment. Using external monitoring she immediately finds a baby in my uterus. She then switches to the standard internal monitor and confirms that the size of the baby is 5 weeks, 2 days. The baby is 4 days smaller than he/she should be, and we don't see a heart beat, but it's pretty early still. The fluid filled sac in the right tube is gone with only a small amount of residual fluid hanging out. My bloodwork is still rising 9,200. The doctor's official diagnosis is "cautiously optimistic"!

Tuesday 10/28 (7 weeks, our 8th anniversary) - O.B. has to work again this day, so I'm on my own. The u/s shows a baby in the uterus measuring 6 weeks, 1 day. The baby is now 6 days too small. There is still not a heart beat. No cyst or fluid remaining in the tube, the cysts are still present on both ovaries. The doc says that there should definitely be a heart beat present at this time. It looks like this is going to end soon. I agree, but since there was some growth, I would like further testing to make sure we will not do something that will end a life. We repeat the bloodwork today for a level of 15,500.

Thursday 10/30 - Stop into the lab just for bloodwork and they put a rush on it. Around 3:30 they call back to let us know that it is now on the way down 13,600. The baby is dying. When we arrive back home together OB and I hold each other and cry for hours. Neither one of us know why this is happening, there are NO answers, and no relief.

We functioned at work and hid out through the weekend.

Tuesday 11/4 (8 weeks) - O.B. misses a training class to attend this appointment. In for the u/s first. Baby measures 6weeks, 2 days. There was only 1 day of growth. There is still no heart beat, and with the bloodwork decreasing we know that is time to make decisions. After several days of research I ask the doctor about fetal genetic testing. He states that those tests are up to us. He does recommend autoimmune and blood clotting disorder testing done on me. We decide together to draw for those tests, and that if nature does not take it's course we will have a D&C done on Thursday. I step over to the lab for them to suck me dry (8 tubes), then to scheduling for the surgery.

Wednesday 11/5 - This day is our first angel babies 2nd birthday if he/she had been born. I spend most of this day speaking with nurses, insurance billers, insurance go-betweens, HR reps, etc trying to find out if I can have the fetal genetic tests done on my baby. I want to know why both of my babies stopped developing at exactly 6 weeks. I want to know if there is a chromosomal disorder that is preventing me from birthing a healthy full term baby. I want answers. The insurance company doesn't want to pay because they received a billing code diagnosing me with infertility. WHAT???? You can't keep me in that category once I achieve a pregnancy! I go to bed with this thought in my head, "God, if you don't want me to have this baby tested you will take him/her tonight" I started cramping and spotting as I fell asleep.

Thursday 11/6 - I wake up at 8:30 with no cramps and no bleeding. Believing, that there is a way to get the tests covered, I begin the calls again. The insurance biller at my doc's office is out sick today, there are no notes on her desk about me. I call the genetics center and get an answering machine. I call another number for the genetics center...another answering machine. A call comes in from the counselor at Greenwood Genetics center, I tell her the situation and history. She recommends that I continue with the plan to have the testing done, and if the insurance company continues to cause problems, they will work it out later. She also gives me the list of codes that would be turned in on my paperwork. I call those numbers in to the insurance go-between, he forwards them to so-and-so. I rush to shower so that I can get to the hospital on time for my prep. As we walk in I place the call to my doc to let him know to prepare for the genetic testing. I do the paperwork, and go back to the pre-op room. O.B. hangs out with me, the nurse enters to place my IV and give me some "happy drugs" (no effect on me :( ) My cell rang and O.B. soon hangs up saying that THE insurance lady called to let us know that the testing WILL BE COVERED!!!!!

Praise the Lord, He answers prayers, He provides a way!

In all of this I will PRAISE my Lord! He alone knows what is best for my family! He alone has my life planned out! He knows the numbers of hairs on my head! He will guide me and protect me! He gives me the faith of a mustard seed! I will continue to Trust and Obey!!

Going for a ride

on a super-duper roller coaster. Of fear, excitement, sadness, anticipation.

Last time I talked to you all the techs had just stabbed me for my second blood draw. Good-445. Almost double, looking good! Feel free to go to your normal kickboxing and karate classes, just don't get hit in the abdomen, and don't get into a car wreck on your way home. This part of the story to be cont...

On friday morning we headed up to Ohio to visit my family. My paternal gpa is dying of small cell cancer. He's in his mid 80's. He's one of 2 sons, his brother passed away several years ago. He knew Bob Evans-the sausage/restaurant guy. He signed up early to serve his country in the Air Force during WWII. When he came home my gparents married and moved to Cleveland, Ohio where my gpa opened a watch and jewelry repair store which he ran for 15 years. Grandpa Willis and Grandma Betty decided to grow their family, starting with my dad, Willis (Willy) Franklin Parsons, Jr., then Timothy (Timmy), Cindy, Pamela (Pammy), and a few years later James Christopher (Chrisy). After several years he closed up his shop, brought the supplies home, and found a job driving bus for the RTA (Rapid Transit Authority) in Cleveland. He was often requested to do special jobs like driving church groups, school groups. He said those were the best!

After working there for 25 years, they retired him out, and he went off to look for another job. The Plain Dealer is the large local paper for the Cleveland area and surrounding towns. My gpa's job was to walk downtown, building to building to pick up the ads from the local businesses and bring them back to be edited and taken to print in the Saturday and Sunday papers. Keep in mind that he worked this job from the ages of 61-76 in all seasons. And Downtown Cleveland is located on the banks of Lake Erie where they have lake effect snow throughout late fall and into early spring.

My gpa had surgery around this time to replace a valve in his heart. They used a pig valve transplant. This type is less trying on the patient due to some meds that don't have to be used, but it doesn't last as long, 5-15years on average. They are not used on younger patients, so my gpa was a perfect candidate, he was old, but strong. The day after his surgery at The Cleveland Clinic he was walking the halls, climbing the steps between floors, chatting with other patients, visiting with leaders of foreign countries and their bodyguards...yes, he was that type of man! He recovered quickly and completely and was released earlier than expected. The next 11 years were good, he remodeled the house using wood from the family farm in southern ohio, painted the home, added a back porch, and landscaped. He was faithful to complete the items on the "honey-do" list my gma came up with.

He was a great man of faith. Attending a local baptist church for his whole life. Serving as deacon for over 30 years. Always saying "Grace" everytime the family gathered together. This past June we surprised the whole family by popping in for a 5 day visit. We were able to pull together one of those family gatherings where there is food everywhere, people everywhere, tons of conversations, and a group of family members ranging in age from 10-85. Amazing!

This is my grandfather. I am the first born daughter of his first born son. And he is headed home to heaven tonight! God Speed Grandpa! Please kiss my first baby for me. I love you!

The good, The bad, and The ugly

I guess the majority of people probably ask for the good news first when the question is posed, "Which would you like first, the good news or the bad?" So, here's the good news!

That's right! After 3 years and 11 months and 1 miscarriage, 9 rounds of Clomid, 2 cycles of Femera, one cycle with Femera and injectibles and a HCG shot and an IUI procedure we had nothing. In between all those drugs we would take "breaks" with no drugs from behind the counter at the local pharmacy. We turned to natural means...red rasperry tea, guaffinison, multi-vits, green tea, licorice leafs, extra vit E and A and C, flax seed oil. DH had to choke down his fair share too: extra zinc, and a butt load of other stuff they managed to shove into 3 pills to be taken 2x's a day on top of his 2x's a day multivitamin.

It came down to our very last try. I met with the nurse and told her about this research that had been done showing that Floradix elixer has made women's uterine lining thicker (that was one of my main problems, nothing for the bean to snuggle into). I took the stuff (YUCK!) for 8 days and came in for an ultrasound to check my lining. It was thicker than it had ever been before! The nurse was amazed. She went out to speak with the doc, and came back a few minutes later with just 2 prescriptions. 1 was Femera 5mg days 3-7, the next was for HCG shot on Ovulation day. She said they would order the super-duper shots (that no one in our area carries) that will increase my follicle growth. "Wait, wait! I don't have problems with follicle growth, I have problems with my lining." "Of course, these shots do both." "Well when I took just one shot not the 3 you are now suggesting I didn't O and my lining was still crap! I'm not doing those shots again, not for $400! And I want progesterone suppositories to support my lining until the corpous luteum kicks in." "I'm sorry, I don't think we can work with you then. You need to follow our protocol." I paid my office visit bill at the door and left...with my scripts for Femera and HCG ;^P I drove 5 minutes down the road to the local CVS and had them filled.

So, since we didn't have the super-duper shots or the progesterone we were left with what we knew wouldn't work. After about a week, Officer Boop decides we should start looking into adoption. Knowing how he occassionally speaks out of turn, I gave him 24 hours to think over what he just committed himself to. He afirmed that indeed he did wish to go ahead with the paperwork. So, my little Type-A/OCD self gets to work....research, call, talk, research some more. Get freaked out by how much $$$ it costs, how much paperwork there is, how long the time will be before we are chosen, the possibility that we'll be dumped by our baby on birth day. *cry, cry, hysterically cry, uncontrollable sobs!* And suddenly a tiny sound in my head. The old hymn Trust and Obey . Singing softly, then louder, and loud enough to get my attention. My only thought was "OK God, I get it, you can handle even this. It's totally in your hands." I walked to my computer and shut it down. I prayed for a while, then went to bed and slept peacefully for the first time since the decision had been made. 3 days later a great friend of mine called to find out how we were doing with our treatments. I told her the news and congratulated her on finding out that she is having boy/girl twins with the help of the RE clinic I had just walked out on. The purpose of her call was to find out if I needed progesterone suppositories!?! She had made it long enough that she wouldn't need the ones left and was offering them to us!!!!!!! Do you realize what that call was? The voice of God! The progesterone was the last piece of the puzzle *halleluja* I thanked her immensly and let her know that we would think and pray about it for just a few days. That following Monday I stopped by her house to visit and pick it up. O.B. agreed that it would be best for my sanity if we rid our cupboards of all fertility meds, syringes, needles, etc.

So on September 9th I started this cycle. I took the Femera on days 4-8 (thinking that 3-7 was a bit too early) while drinking my daily dose of Floradix and guzzling quart after quart of red raspberry tea. I peed on a stick on days 9,10,11,12,13 before finally seeing a strong positive result. That means shot time. I loaded up that syringe with bacteriostatic water, inserted into the jar with the powdered meds and let 'er rip. Swish. Swirl. And now suck it back out with the syringe. Change over to a sharp needle, carefully tap the syringe to rid it of bubbles, recap. Carry it and a alcohol wipe back to the bathroom where O.B. will not have to witness the self-mutilation. Find the right spot of thigh muscle, wipe, and BAM it in, then push the stopper to ensure deep placement of the medicine into the musculature, pull out quickly and apply pressure with a sterile cloth. Wait for that to START burning then command O.B. to make a deposit, same as yesterday, the day before, 2 days before, and 2 days before. Oh, and don't forget tomorrow's and the next night!!!

Once that fun is finally complete you begin inserting progesterone suppositories, not in your ears or your nose, not even in your rectum, noooooooooooo they go THERE! Cold or they melt too quickly. And they are the size of a bullet from a 40 caliber handgun. Did I mention they are cold? Oh yeah, do them 2 x's a day, 12 hours apart! So, now you are wearing panty-liners 24 hours a day to ensure that your clothing doesn't end up with greasy streaks when the glycerin melts. Within those first 2 glorious days you develop some irritation...down there! The burning, the itching, the cottage cheese chunks-EW! A yeast infection. From the suppositories. That you have to take or lose the possiblity of having a baby. Ever.

Now you count down the days from when the pee stick said "GO" 14days, 13days, 12days, 11days, 10days, 9days, 8days, 7days, 6days, 5days, 4days...test=BFN, 3days ...test=BFN, 2days ...test=BFN, 1day ...test=

Is that a line? Take a picture, blow it up, analyze it, break it open and hold it into the sunlight, look again, post the pic on the internet and ask all of your "friends" to look at it and analyze it. Give up and take a different brand of test:

For sure! That's 2 lines alright! *start giggling, dancing, hooting, hollering* Hurry up and get ready because I'm supposed to be at a birthday lunch for a close family friend in 5 minutes!! Rush in there 15 minutes late with the excuse "Your going to be a great-grandma, grandpa, grandma, 2 uncles, 2 aunts, 2 cousins, and 1 more on the way!" More hugs, dancing, hooting, and hollering!

OOPS! Forgot to tell O.B. I manage to track him down to a local Firehouse Subs where he is eating lunch with his rookie and his former rookie. We give him a card that said inside "Daddy-to-be". He showed his typical excitement...that of a night shift disc jockey, then ran out the door to help a fellow officer that was involved in a foot chase.

So, here's the final verdict:

I went to the docs office first thing monday morning for blood work. The wonderful nurse, Amanda has been working with me for 4 years now. She greeted me in the hall with a bear hug and a whisper that she was putting this set of labs through STAT. No waiting until tomorrow, baby! The number came back at 226! *Yikes* That's a bit high. I'm considered to be 3 weeks along, the number should be 5-90. So today rolled around and I stuck my arm out again. More blood draws, but no STAT rush. Going to have to wait this one out! It shoud double, but if it's higher than that we may be looking at twins. YAY! So, OB doesn't hear me yell!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

I'm sorry, I'm too exhausted to write out the bad and ugly stories. I just have 2 prayer requests until then. Pray for my entire family, (in a nutshell)my paternal grandfather is being released from the hospital with end stage cancer to go home to die. They are sending him with oxygen and pain meds. We'll be leaving town early Friday morning to hopefully make it home in time to say goodbye.

The ugly story is that O.B. after 13 years on the Greer PD yet again did not receive a lateral move that he interviewd for. The person that was chosen has 10 years less experience, and didn't even request the position. But the person has less outer anatomy between their legs.

A Sunday downtown

Flour Daniel Stadium
Hold on so you don't make a fool of yourself.
Lucky row 113! And a view of the jumbotron.
Let's make that clear...113?
I sculpt ice.
I cut fruit, put it into ice bowl so it can cool.
I like to use my manly tools to make pretty pictures!

Ice sculptures
Gamecock
Eiffel Tower and a fruit tray

Amazing what you'll find when you walk looking down. It is still the Bible Belt!
Kid's Station-a masterpiece!
A church-sorry I didn't notice the name.

Falls by one of the newer hotels at The West End.
It's a little hike up some stairs to get to the main road again.

Taking it easy and protecting the turf.

Reedy River Falls

Nice place to take a nap or throw around a football.

Reedy River Falls Park

Reedy River Falls

Please do a rain dance for us!