I'm back

Well, I had tried to begin another blog, but that didn't work out. I've been harboring too much hatred and downright fear over 1 person. She doesn't scare me anymore...my God is bigger!

I wanted to close down this blog because AMO was probably reading it and stealing pics of my DH from it. I've found that some people don't care for what God gave them, so they try to take what God gave to someone else. AMO has a beautiful family, well paying job, and all the things that most people strive for in this life, but it doesn't seem to be enough for her. She wants my husband, and has been chasing him (like the cougar she is) since the summer of 2008. I've tried to end the relationship twice so far. The first time was after a very large cell bill lead me to hear her voice, and then to a very heated discussion with my husband. That took place December 16, 2008...7 days before my birthday, and only 5 weeks after my second miscarriage. It was "ended", and life proceeded rather normally...or so I thought.

The middle of May 2009 came along and I was able to excitedly announce that I was miraculously pregnant. The very next week we were at Disney World. Wednesday came around and we were having an ok week, but DH was spending alot of time at the gym and running through the resort complex. When he got done we finally made it to the park for a bit then out to dinner and made a stop at the Thorlo Outlet. We raced back to the car through the rain and the ignition said "click, click, click...." A nice guy from the pool hall finally came over and jumped the car off, but by that time the all the battery stores were closed. We went back to the resort and figured that the security people could jump the car again in the morning.

Morning came, DH got out of bed first and got ready. While I got ready he went out to start the car or get it jumped off. It was taking a very long time, so I went out the door and peeked over the railing. He was on a cell phone, but I had just seen his cell on the counter as I walked out. He didn't see me watching him put it into the trunk. We went to WalMart and as he went in to get the car checked in, I looked in the trunk and found a cell phone and charger that didn't belong to us. No wonder his workouts and runs have been long! I waited until we got back to the resort to confront him. He refused to unlock the phone, so I smashed it to smitherines :-) He finally admitted that it was given to him by AMO, and they had been talking again for a few months, sending texts, and pics back and forth. He thought it would be better for me if I didn't know about it, WTF!?!?! In no uncertain terms I told him I was not better! As a matter of fact, I packed my stuff and was headed to the door. Unfortunately he was unhindered by suitcases and managed to grab my keys before I did.

Thus began a 6 hour conversation. I ended up staying, he said he doesn't want kids. I told him that if he still didn't want his child 6 weeks after it was born we would leave and he would have abusolutely no ties...no child support and NO VISITATION! He agreed to go to church every other week when we are off work, he agreed to attend marriage counseling, he agreed to change gyms again, he agreed to not enter the Greer GNC (that's where they supposedly got back into contact after the December break up). None of those things have happened so far :-(

There is a lot more that I will begin to post. I need to get caught up with the here and now, and to generally just vent it all out.

Good night reader...yes Amy, I'm talking to you ;-)

Who, where, what, why, and some how

First, the basics:

34 years old

Female

Living in Greenville, South Carolina

Married since 10/28/00

Nurse since 5/04-I worked one year at a local hospital on their telemetry unit and hated the day shift nurses, so I found a job working with special needs children and their families. It is the perfect job for me!

Oldest of 6 children with ages spread between 34 and 12, only 1 boy out of the bunch. All of us came from the same mom and dad, and no we aren’t catholic, and yes they knew what caused it, lol. I live 600 miles away from them, and miss them all fiercely.

I have dealt with infertility for 5 years and 4 months now. I have an irritable uterus, and they don’t know why I don’t ovulate regularly. I also have a fairly rare double genetic mutation that does not allow my body to process folic acid correctly. One important thing that folic acid does is to keep the blood from creating clots.

I have lost 3 babies to the above mentioned gene mutation between April ‘06 and now. The most recent was on 6/25/09. This was the first baby to make it past 6 1/2 weeks gestation. I had heard the heartbeat 3 times, and was told that everything was going well on my new treatment plan. Unfortunately, the doctors didn’t begin this plan until the end of week 6, and by that time the gestational sac’s blood supply had already clotted. So, even though the baby was able to recieve good blood thanks to blood thinner shots, the sac stopped growing and suffocated my child at 8 weeks and 2 days.

Back to more fun stuff…

I take karate 2 evenings per week. It is American style with a little of this, a little of that all mixed together. I am finishing my green belt, and am ready to get down and dirty with the late evening grappling class.

I just joined a gym with my husband. It’s very nice with upscale equipment, a quiet atmosphere, a tanning bed, a hydrotherapy massage bed, private saunas, and the most beautiful private bathrooms! A gym is where DH and I first started to really get to know each other, so I figured it would be a great place to reconnect after the crazyness of the past several years.

I’m training to run 3 miles as part of my black belt test.

I’m a very amatuer photographer.

I’m a (slightly better than) amatuer cake decorator.

Lord, Sinner here...

Lord,
It is I, Sinner.
Many of my friends are hurting tonight.
I am but a man, but you are God.
Among our differences is the fact that you have said over and over again that it is
your delight when we come to you.
And among our differences is that an old stiff necked, stubborn self-centered fool
like me can throw himself at your feet and not be crushed,
as I would crush if I were you.

So I am there Lord.
Forgive me my sins so I may ask of you…
Many of my friends are hurting tonight.
The Spirit tugs me to ask.
The Spirit puts tears in my eyes.
Wave your hand over us Lord,
so that for a moment we can all have peace.
Do not fix our problems – that is not what I ask.
Do not make us better – that is not what I ask.
I ask…. Just touch us.
Pass your hand over us so that we can be reminded you are there.
For just a moment take the hurt from all of us, if it is your will.
It is but a flick of your finger.
Just a nod of your head.
You are God.
Because my friends hurt tonight.

Amen,
Sinner


*Written and prayed by “Shipguy”
He can be found on www.themarraigebed.com forums

Adios

It's time for this blog to close! Not only do I not keep up with it, the things I do post are read by people that don't have a reason to stick their big noses into my business! So, if/when I do start another, the people that matter will be invited to visit me!

Star Wars Sunday

It all started with a mouse...

and a fastpass...

and a strong showing of control....

and patrol....

then we had sun and waiting....and more waiting...

then we went to TGIFriday's for lunch and came back for more waiting.

All for this man to show the thumb's up sign.

And some pearly whites...whose are prettier?

Then we saw some crazy people walking around like it wasn't 90+ today!

Hey guess what!!!!

I'm leaving for Disney in less than 6 hours to spoil OB at Star Wars Weekends!

My cycle has been coming earlier and earlier, so I was expecting for her to show up in the middle of last week, but it didn't happen. Then I packed to stay at the Karate house over the weekend and took plenty of supplies, and again...nothing! Same on Monday and I started wondering, then Tuesday nothing so I decided to test Wed morning. I took the test and laid it down to develop while I started to get ready. Looked over at it real quick as I was getting ready to throw it away, but wait!!! There is 2 lines OMG *faint* So I hurry to get ready, call Candice to let her know I'm going to be late, send a text to Lisa "It is positive!", and head to the doc's office for a blood test.

I threw the whole office off-kilter because I didn't call first, my ob is off, and the nurse (that i've become close to over the past 4 1/2 years) is in total shock, and has to search down my gyn to write the orders for a beta and progesterone. She said what I've been thinking "How did this happen? You weren't taking anything were you? How is your husband going to take it?" My answers..."No idea except GOD! No! and Probably not so great."

Wednesday night I came home and made dinner for my OB and after he got out of his uniform and got his drink and plate ready I broke the news:
Remember that your mom taught you not to say anything if you don't have something nice to say.
Funny look.
We're pregnant!
How did that happen?
God!
But we only dtd once!
I know!
A little bit of thinking...
Well, don't go telling everyone or posting it anywhere.
Why?
Because we don't know if it's going to stick!
Well, it's there now, and i'm excited, so too little too late!
A lot more thinking...
That's good I guess.
Remember you aren't saying anything about it until it's nice!
Goodnight, I love you.

Thursday I got my numbers! My first beta at 4w5d is 432 *praise
Today my numbers...beta at 5w is 896 *praise*praise

Tonight we had 5 arby's roast beef sandwiches, 2 each. When he got the last one he asked if I needed it or at least 1/2 of it. I asked why I would need that many. He said "Cuz you have to feed two!" *giggle

We are leaving early in the morning for our Disney trip for Star Wars Weekends. And when we get back I'm headed to a maternal fetal medicine specialist to determine if I need Lovenox shots in addition to baby aspirin, 4.4mg Folic Acid/vit b, and my prenatal vitamin. That appt is Wed 6/4 at 3pm. I'll have my first ob appt and u/s on 6/9 at 2:40pm.

And that's the news. When I get back I promise to keep you all up to date with the pregnancy, and back track to get you through the last 6 months. I might also have a few pics to show off from my Nikon with my new 18-250 lens *wink

A lot of catching up to do

But not today!

Today I am worried about what is going on in DC. I believe a big giant Jesus stick needs to come down and crash their party! Have you heard about Bill s.909? “The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.” Sounds like something that would keep O.B. from racial profiling doesn't it? That's not it at all!!! Read the following blog post from Morgan Writes:

U.S. Senate Bill S.909
May 9, 2009 by morganwrites
There is a bill on the fast track in the U.S. Senate (S. 909) that would not
only criminalize free speech but provide elevated protection to
pedophiles.
The bill is euphemistically called “The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.”It should rightfully be called “The Pedophile Protection Act.”
It was exposed as such when an amendment to exclude pedophiles from special legal protections, offered by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, was rejected by the Democrats in the House Judiciary Committee. Rep. Alcee Hastings, D-Florida, admitted from the House Floor that this bill put 547 forms of sexual deviancies listed by the American Psychiatric Association, which he referred to as “all of these ‘philias’ and fetishes and ‘isms’” on the same level of elevated protection as “race … religion … gender … or
disability.”
Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, a former appellate judge on the House committee, clarified further: “…We just rejected an amendment to including pedophilia from being a part of this protected class. Do you realize what that means?
“If a mother hears that their child has been raped and she slaps the assailant with her purse, she is now gone after as a hate criminal because this is a protected class. There are other protected classes in here. I mean simple exhibitionism. I have female friends who have told me over the years that some guy flashed them, and their immediate reaction was to hit them with their purse. Well now, he’s committed a misdemeanor, [and] she has committed a federal hate crime because the exhibitionism is protected under sexual orientation.”If there was ever a time for the Senate to stand and fight with a filibuster, that time is now. Especially since the Democrat majority does not yet have the contested seat filled with Al Franken, which would provide the votes to block a filibuster. Janet Porter of Faith2Action is calling for members of the Senate, Republicans and Democrats alike, to stop S. 909.
This bill in on the fast track to approval. But you can stop it.
Click on this link.