Monday, September 24, 2007

"It's alright to cry. Crying gets the sad out of you. It's alright to cry. It might make you feel better." Free to be you and me.

I have to admit that I've been doing this quite a bit lately. It might be hormonal, frustration, or just because I need to get the sad out!

As you have seen in my intro...I'm a nurse. This is the only area of my life right now that always makes me happy. I love, love, love "my boys". My older (by 7 weeks) is linked to the left. My younger, I will introduce after getting permission from his folks. Let me just say that every night before I go to bed, I look forward to seeing one or the other, or both the next day! They always make me least once each shift ;) In one house we are learning to poopy on the potty, the other, that some colors of paint taste bad.

A wife. What wife doesn't cry on occassion??? I work full-time, take kickboxing 3 days a week, pay the bills and balance the budget, cook dinner, clean the house, arrange for the "house from hades" to be fixed, that house and this house to be sold including the extra cleanings that showing w/ an hours notice requires, laundry, trash, arrange for the yards to be cut, and "scratch". I literally scratch the body part that O.B. points to...with his perfectly healthy finger! He works. For the P.D. that shares too much love if you were born with the right body parts....O.B. obviously (thankfully) was not born with said parts. And he works out. He wants to be a (geriatric) body builder. Good for him. During the 3 hours a day he is gone, I'll wipe his dribbles from the toilet rim, scrub the grease stains from the carpet that he left with his duty boots, and try to figure out how we are going to pay the power bill now that he bought:
But, I Love Him! Somedays, I really don't know why, but others he shows the strength to not strangle me, and he has a big shoulder to cry on!
A wanna-be mommy. In other words, "I WANT TO BE A MOMMY!" So, the deed (DTD), baby dance (BD). Done that! Now what? Do it 5-8 times a month for 3 years enough? Not yet. Because there still isn't a Baby Boop! Go to the doc. Been there so much the nurse recognizes my voice and I don't have to show my face to get fertility meds called in to the pharmacy. Actually...she has said that she doesn't want to see my face anymore. She has referred our case to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). The beautiful state of SC does NOT require insurance companies to cover infertility treatments. It looks to me like Yoda needs to find a new home! I think I can get enough out of him to pay for the first 5 shots that will help us achieve the dream of parenthood, hehehehehahahaha ;-) I have alot of Star Wars for sale...what piece do you want? I need to invest in a turkey baster!

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